Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
