so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
