how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i wish my penis had a tongue
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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