I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
