Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
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