I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
