so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Did you pee in the oven last night??
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
