as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Randomize
