I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
