who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
