Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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