Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
