Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
