Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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