so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
