I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Just cropdusted the office
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
