we have officially lost it.
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
