she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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