you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
