I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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