So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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