I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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