So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize