my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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