I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
im having a threesome with these popsicles
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
