If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
