Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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