Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
