Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
