I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
