are you so shy because you have an std?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
