I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
