i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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