Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I have feelings that need drinking.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
