Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
