The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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