At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
