so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
