There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Randomize
