I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
