i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
