remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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