I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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