At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
