There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
