U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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