where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
