I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize