I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
