Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
