so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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