wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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