Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
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