Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
You had me at "let me see your balls"
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
