haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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