he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Randomize
