so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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