I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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