How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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