I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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