Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
