I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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