bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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