i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
i believe in u and ur pee
as a side note pls kill me
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
