I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Randomize
