I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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