Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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