If that was your dad, he is hot
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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