Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
