I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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