...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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