hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize