votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
