I'm drive I can fine osifer
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Pooping to opera.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
